Flat Decider
By now you've probably heard about how the National Guard in Maine is helping families there cope with the extended deployments are their loved ones in Iraq and Afghanistan: cardboard cutouts.
This gave Jesus' General an idea. Why not have a Flat Decider? JG says that with the help of a few dozen two-dimensional Dubya's, our President could attend nearly all of the funerals of service members killed in the War on Terror.
I would like to add a few other suggestions* for what to do with these cardboard commander-in-chiefs.
For starters, have them sit in on cabinet and staff meetings. Bush doesn't listen to the advice of his subordinates anyway so it really won't affect policy decisions.
In fact, Bush would never have to leave Washington, or better yet, Crawford. He could have his cutout clones do all his speechifying for him, enabling him to stay on vacation for the rest of his term.
I doubt anyone would even notice the difference.
*Have your own suggestions? Add them in the comments.
Maine National Guard members in Iraq and Afghanistan are never far from the thoughts of their loved ones.
But now, thanks to a popular family-support program, they're even closer.
Welcome to the ``Flat Daddy" and ``Flat Mommy" phenomenon, in which life-size cutouts of deployed service members are given by the Maine National Guard to spouses, children, and relatives back home.
This gave Jesus' General an idea. Why not have a Flat Decider? JG says that with the help of a few dozen two-dimensional Dubya's, our President could attend nearly all of the funerals of service members killed in the War on Terror.
I would like to add a few other suggestions* for what to do with these cardboard commander-in-chiefs.
For starters, have them sit in on cabinet and staff meetings. Bush doesn't listen to the advice of his subordinates anyway so it really won't affect policy decisions.
In fact, Bush would never have to leave Washington, or better yet, Crawford. He could have his cutout clones do all his speechifying for him, enabling him to stay on vacation for the rest of his term.
I doubt anyone would even notice the difference.
*Have your own suggestions? Add them in the comments.
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