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FUI: Flying Under The Influence

LAGUNA BEACH (XF) - The Xsociate Files has learned that authorities in Laguna Beach, California, have arrested a pair of crows for allegedly supplying a flock of pelicans with alcohol. While it was initially believed that the birds had become "drunk" on sea algae, a copy of the toxicology report obtained by XF showed the blood alcohol levels of the pelicans to be well above the legal limit for water fowl.

When reached for comment, a spokesman for the Laguna Beach police department could not confirm whether the type of alcohol involved was in fact Wild Turkey.

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Damn! I always suspected that Pelicans were drunk. I mean...look at the way they fly.

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