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What did he just say?

White House flub leads to autoerotic speech.

WASHINGTON (XF) - In an effort to shore up support for the war on terror, President Bush has recently taken to quoting extensively from Al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden. But during one such speech, things did not go according to plan, The Xsociate Files has learned. For instead of reading quotes from the terrorist mastermind, the President mistakenly read excerpts from The Kama Sutra.

A White House source who spoke to XF on the condition of anonymity said the mishap is believed to have resulted from Mr. Bush's decision to read both the original Arabic and english translations of Bin Laden's words.

"The President felt it would give his speeches more oomph if he read both," the source said.

According to the source, the foreign quotations were to be written phonetically so the President, who does not speak Arabic, could read them during his speech. But somehow, pages from the ancient sex guide were mistakenly included in the notes to be transcribed.

While it is too soon to tell what impact this will have, administration officials feel confident that the President can weather any political backlash.

"Very few Americans understood what the President was saying. And so far we have only received a modicum of complaints," FCC Chairman Kevin J. Martin told XF.

But critics of the administration are already claiming the televised faux pas as evidence that President Bush is not up to the task of dealing with foreign affairs.

"He [Bush] doesn't even know enough to tell the difference between Arabic and Indian [sic], and we're suppose to believe he is competent enough to understand the social, economic and geopolitical intricacies of the Middle East?" one critic is quoted as saying.

"The President needs to stick to the two languages he's familiar with," another critic said, "Good english and bad english."

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