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Oh Sweet Lord

Convulsions over Christ confection continues

NEW YORK (XF) - The outrage over a life-size nude sculpture of Jesus Christ continued today, this time over what is to be done with the nearly 200 pounds of chocolate used to make the milk-chocolate messiah, The Xsociate Files has learned. According to sources, the material is to be donated to a local pastry shop that makes such items as "Jesus' Chocolate Balls".

William Donohue, whose Catholic League was able to boycott the original display of the statue, was particularly incensed at the news.

"It's bad enough the gallery was willing to put on such a vulgar display of our lord and savior but to then continue the insult by allowing his name to be attached to such an obscenely named product is beyond reprehensible," Mr. Donohue said. But critics say such claims are unfounded, since the Jesus in question is in fact the owner of the shop.

Jesus Guerra, proprietor of Sweets Jesus, is surprised by the attention surrounding the statue. A Catholic himself, Guerra saw nothing wrong with depicting Christ as he is said to have been during the Crucifixion. He is also surprised that some are concerned over what is now to be done with the statue.

"If they are upset now, I can only imagine how they would react if I planned to use the chocolate to make my specialty, "Jesus' Big Brown Nuts"".

(An April Fools snark for the masses at State of the Day)


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